Casey and Micaela Zgutowicz are one of the most adorable couples, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. I met up with the couple at the Park Hyatt Chicago to talk marriage, how they met and also play a little couples game. They definitely restored my faith in finding love and being with someone that completes you.
SLC: How did you meet?
We met online via e-harmony.
SLC: Seriously? oh you have to tell me this story
Micaela: It was one of those things I always thought would be cool to try, I was never intimidated by online dating or anything like that. I logged on, filled out the whole profile* and a few months later I came up on Casey’s profile and thought he looked really cute.
Before meeting Casey, there were those other dates I would go on and within the first 5 minutes know if there was something there or not but with him I knew there was something there right away.
Casey: For me, I was career focused at that time and was trying to get that part of life set before settling down. I was a Chicago bachelor, dating and a little after turning 30, my friends began settling down and saw friends that had success and got married through online dating, so I said what do I have to lose.
Casey: I am big on physical attraction and chemistry is driven on attraction but initially I didn’t see anyone I was into so I took a few weeks off. I came back and saw Mica’s profile in my matches. With Mica it was immediate chemistry
Mica: We met in 2009 and he proposed 11 months later. I had no question and knew early on there was something there.
We met each others families and we all got along. That part was really important. We all got along great
SLC: Has marriage changed how you date your wife?
It’s very different for us because we have a 15mo old and another one on the way.
I think it was awesome after we got married. Marriage changed our relationship as in that we now had a formal commitment to one another. Now having her on my side as my wife is totally important to me.
SLC: What advice would you give to frustrated singles that may be ready to settle down?
Micaela: For me, what helped was getting out of my box. Going to the same places and hanging with the same group of people all the time may not be the answer, sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone.
I would joke with Casey because of my group of friends and where we each hung out, we probably would have never met.
Don’t just say you want to do it but do it, step out of your comfort zone
Casey: I would say that before you do anything (this applies to so many things in life) or get frustrated you have to understand what you really want? what you are looking for? People get frustrated because they don’t start with a true understanding of what they want out of something. Online dating for me, I went for it because e-harmony was a site that was pretty serious. The rigorous profile questions, the courting stage even.
My advice for frustrated singles is to think about why are you frustrated? Are you wanting a serious or relaxed relationship? be honest with yourself to be honest with the other person. Some people may think they may not meet someone at the bar but you can’t say only one way works. We have friends who met at Rockit and are now married. You just have to be open regardless of the medium, know what you are looking for, be honest with yourself.
Micaela: be honest with what you don’t want.
SLC: How did your values play a role in your relationship?
Casey: Chemistry is a lot of things but you need to share a lot of the same values, philosophy and commonalities and interests.I was always intrigued by travel and different cultures and I was intrigued to Mica she was very passionate about her heritage which was very important to her.
SLC: Did your family relationships play a role in your courtship?
Absolutely Yes without a doubt! we wouldn’t be where we are without our family’s support. Their support and love.
SLC: Were there things you did before marriage that you had to stop?
I like things clean and organized so we had to compromise, and now it’s about us
Sometimes you’ve gotta know how to pick your battles
SLC: How many times do you talk daily?
We talk a lot between texting and talking I can’t keep track *Mica laughs*
SLC: If you could describe your spouse in 3 words?
Casey: Mica is definitely Compassionate, Loving and Patient
Micaela: Casey is Loving, Patient, Trusting
Micaela: Casey is just so calm and so patient with me.
Casey: it’s so funnys she says that and I never realized this before but for me a good marriage needs to be founded on patience, we all go through our ups and down. The truth is if you are always supporting one another and putting their interest in front of your own,that allows for us to be patient for one another . I always said trust was important in relationship.
SLC: The saying “Happy wife happy life” is that true?
*laughs* yes it is.
Casey: when she is happy it makes things more enjoyable as a family.
SLC: A lot of men our generation have seemed to lost touch with dating mannerisms, what are gentleman manners that should NOT be skimped?
Casey: I was raised in a traditional family that instilled those values in me, the opening of doors, pulling out a seat for the woman, putting her coat on are absolutely important. It goes back again to “What is it that you want?” if your partner appreciates that, do it.
The whole texting thing during our courtship was not entire conversations, more so just checking in and confirming our dates. pick up the phone, check in.
Micaela: As a woman we need to expect that.
For Micaela (First): What is your spouse’s favorite restaurant? NoMI
First meal Casey cooked for you? one of our our first dates, we tried to make pizza and let’s just say it didn’t work out
Where is Casey’s dream vacation? an adventure (somewhere in a new country like going to South America together)
For Casey: Mica’s favorite restaurant? I will go with goosefoot
First meal Micaela cooked for you? She made me tacos
Where is Micaela’s dream vacation? Fiji
* tip: e-harmony profiles take a long time so a cold afternoon on the weekend with a glass of wineis the perfect weather to fill out the profile.
Image credit: Meg Purazrang
pronounced: Boh-la-jee, like the Bellagio but w/o the O. SLC Founder and Editor, loves to write about topics at the intersection of career and lifestyle for today's young professional and future leaders.