Uber drivers don’t get nearly enough credit. Besides driving queasy partiers and mothers of five screaming kids around for a living, Uber drivers are forced to hear the most bizarre stories from their filter-less passengers. Recently, Uber drivers took to Reddit to share the weirdest, darkest, and most cringe-worthy secrets they’ve overheard while driving. Their stories range from middle-aged couples discussing foursomes to men getting caught cheating on their wives to people trying to convenience their drivers that they are secretly wizards. This sounds like material for a new HBO show, Uber Confessions: Getting Deep.
Some of the more tame secrets they revealed below:
“Drove UBER one night… it was pretty tame until I picked up two guys who wanted to go to a strip club 40 miles away. As they requested an UberSelect fare I was happy to drive that far. ($80-100) It took them 15 minutes to get ready and into the car and they seemed cool so I wasn’t worried.
As soon as we got on the freeway the guy in the passenger seat started asking about UBER driving and things got dark. After a few minutes he started saying shit like “what would you do if someone just grabbed the steering wheel and ran the car into the median” and “have you ever thought about what would happen if someone in the back seat tried to strangle you while you were driving?” I got a little freaked out and tried to lighten the mood by asking what they were celebrating, etc, but the one guy just kept at it.
I was happy to get to the strip club and get them the hell out of the car. Bonus was the bouncer at the club gave me $40 for dropping them off there. I never drove UBER again. Fuck that.”
“I picked up this young overly affectionate couple that spent the entire trip making out in my backseat and telling each other that they loved each other. Cute.
So I drop off the couple and head on my way to pick up my text fare. I hear a cellphone ring in my backseat, realize it’s my previous ride’s, and pick up the phone to let them know I have it and I’ll come back to drop it off. Turns out it was the guys wife phoning to check in on him while he was on a business trip, which he was thoroughly enjoying with his mistress.“
“Picked up a girl mid Saturday. She was a bit upset and a little teary and opened up to me. Turned out a business she had started was failing and she was in debt and had turned to stripping on the side to cover the bills.
She said the pay was good but she kept getting really sick from all the booze she felt obliged to drink (part of her job was making guys spend money at the bar). She hated it and felt trapped and kept asking me what I would do in her situation (I’m a guy, so kind of hard for me to answer). Tried to give her the best advice I could think of like getting the tax office to with hold tax for a while, but couldnt help really. Only thing I could do was end the trip early.
Other one was a couple of off duty cops who didnt want their friends to know they were using it. Uber is still in a legal grey area here.“
“Former Uber driver here. Picked a girl up a sweet girl from a bar on a Wednesday night – absolutely hammered, about 10pm. She got into my car, apologized for being so drunk and politely asked if we could just drive around a little while, with the windows down.
I was prepping for a cleaning fee, trying to drive and pull a vomit bag out of the glove box, but no, she just did that airplane thing with one hand out the backseat window. She asked me if I had ever thought about dying, to which I replied, yeah – I guess so.
That’s when she told me that she had cancer. It was in her brain and it was too far gone to consider chemo. I remember my heart just pounding. She told me she was dying and she was going to be okay. Tonight she was celebrating with her work friends who threw her a going-away party. She told them she was taking a position abroad.
“I just didn’t tell them that abroad was heaven.“
Read the whole Reddit thread here
~Laura Barker
Featured image via Uber
