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I Deserve Somebody Who Gives A Sh!t

I Deserve Somebody Who Gives A Sh!t



This is a true story.

I’m sure if you read the very first single in the city I wrote HERE, its clear that I haven’t had great luck in the guy/dating department to date.

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Carrie had Big, Bolaji had Boothie. At the time Sex and the City aired and Carrie was going through her ups and downs, I really couldn’t relate; but now? definitely relatable.  Not sure if comparing boothie to Big is actuallly fair since in the end Big came around and proved us all wrong. He’s more in the sense that somehow when I thought I was over it all, he would creep back in, augh.  It would be easy to blame someone else for how this whole thing played out and crumbled but most of the blame should be on me.

I should have seen the red flags but I was enamored and blinded to it. He seemed so good on paper and in person, we clicked so well,
I inadvertently met his inner circle, which to me was a big deal or so I thought.
I should have ran when he kept talking about his ex situation who found someone willing to commit to a relationship. I listened like a good friend hoping one day we won’t have to talk about her anymore. I’m emotioanally drained because I thought he had so much potential, I thought long term than instant graitification. I saw a fit, I felt chemistry, fizz pop, bang but it turned out to be more like droop droop slurp.
I should have picked up the pieces and left when he made plans with his friends without inviting me-rude.
I didn’t, I made every excuse to justify it.

Never again. When he was down,  I tried to be there. I went out of my way to help but if only it were reciprocated.
I said goodbye but a little part of me wished he would have fought for it, he didn’t.
The witty, funny, nice guy I initially met turned out to be a callous cad that was void of any emotion or considerate of others feelings.
Then I think is this that thing called karma? Is this what I had put these guys through in the past? crap!

I recently read a Glamour mag post where a girl was asking for advice on how to convince her ex that they belong together, I realized that whatever didn’t work out with Boothie was not something I wanted or in the least bit convince him that we work, that just screams desperation. I am not that desperate for a man. I deserve someone that cares.

who gives a shit

I had a really tough day and I called my parents for guidance. My dad said Bolaji “you need an awesome man” and he’s right, I do. But now I’m extra  guarded, I’m cautitous. Needless to say I am swallowing a hard dose of my own medicine and it tastes bitter as heck.

I wrote this post to get closure for me.

joan clayton

I am going to put Single in the City on hiatus for a few weeks while we work out some new programming. The reincarnation won’t be so moody and sulky and  hopefully beneficial than my sad state of a dating life. Tell me what’s the dating situation been like for you?

*images: Google

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