The whole startup/entrepreneurship world that’s being celebrated all over might be the in thing to do but listen, its not for everybody. Many have to grind it out at a 9-5 and also because its nice to have a consistent paycheck, benefits with paid vacation and let’s not even get into a matching 401k scenario!!! Working a 9-5 in a mundane office cubicle is hard not just because of the workload but rather the people you work with. Though we might vary by location, industry or type of business, what we all have in common are those things that happen in every office that no one is immune from, hellooo TMI Tami. Whether it’s not knowing half your coworkers names (because why), furiously pressing the elevator’s close button to avoid an awkward conversation with literally ANYONE in your office, or the eager beaver Susan in every office, we can all relate to these scenarios. Here are the ten things that’s bound to happen in every office, if you’re lucky it will all happen on a Monday.
Why so cold?
1. There is a constant stream of complaints on the temperature in the office. The weather outside says 80 and roasting but inside its Antarctica. You’re freezing, literally all year long, and have a permanent jacket you keep at the office.
2. You finally found that one person at work that hates all the same coworkers that you do, and once you discover this you become instant besties.
Bathroom small talk
3. You’ve been doing well with #gallonwaterchallenge but you can no longer hold in it and as you try to make a mad dash for the bathroom, here comes that one coworker, slowly walking beside you because of course they also need to go right at that moment and wants to make small talk on the way.
4. You creep on your coworkers for hours, yet hide every trace of yourself on social media
Diet starts tomorrow
5. Getting free lunch will make your entire day but buh byee to your waistline and hello to the extra layer of fat all year round from the constant flow of candy, brownies, and Glazed and Infused donuts and birthday cakes that’s permanently floating around the office.
6. Knowing far too much about your coworkers personal lives…whether you asked for said information or not. Like
7. Truthfully, if your office doesn’t have that one creep are you really working in an office? Or maybe its you, bloop!
8) When a coworker has you all the way f$*ked up and you have to gather them together really quick with a professional clapback aka a “please advise” email
9. Feeling pressure to accept out-of-work invites to hang out with your coworkers, you want to be a team player but also don’t want them to think that they’re your *gasp* friends
10. It’s 4:55 and you are ready to get outta dodge before your boss hits you with the one more thing task and suddenly you start to see a shadow walk up. You do like Joanne and scram! You’re meeting friends for drinks and shadefest at River Roast after all.
And at the end of the day, you made it so reward yourself.